David and Golieth
Once upon a time there was this big dude named golieth. Golieth was so fucking big that if a bitch were to suck his fat cock she had to stand up while he fucking crouched.
Becuase Golieth was suck an asshole and a fucker he diecied that god fucking sucked and taht he was better. so he joined the persiean army or some shit that which hated god and jesus.
One day Golieth and the persian army was decided to fuck up Beblanand to fight the guys there.
Golieth thought he was touch shit so he said "I will fuck up all you asshoels but because I'm so fucking cool I'll fight one on one wit ur best."
Everythone in Bethlan was fuckkin pissed scared and they said "that Golieth is a fucker" but they were scared and they didn't have faith in god 'cuase they were pussys and they forgot god had their backs if they weren't.
One dude call david was like "fuck that noise, god is my homey 'an he wont let this fucker fuck me if I believe in Jesus."
Eveyone who was a pussy though said "dave what the fuck your like ten! and your a fucking small dude. You're going to fucking get fucked!"
David didn't listen though because he had god on his hart.
He whent to Golith and said "hey ass! I'm david and i'm going to beat you becuase you don't believe in God." but Golieth "HAR HAR HAr! your the best this puny city has! you're ten and an fucker! dere's no WAY you can beat ME!"
but daivid new that god was on his side and he knew that he could do it because the great god who created everything can't do something!?? He can do ANYTHIN!G!
So david spun his sling which was like a slingshot or some shit and fucked a rock right into daivd's HEAD!
Everyone was amazed because David took down Golieth without a sord or a gun or any man weapon he only used a kid's sling! They finally wren't pussies anymore and the army DESTROYED the persians and David was a hero.