A mysterious stranger has been spotted lurking around the Greater Nanaimo area. He is described as a shorter man with no distictive features save for some bizzarre colouring in his eyes. Eyewitness reports report that his eyes look not entirely unlike certain areas on the female body.
One witness had this to say:
"yo shit man it was wack yo it was all like 'sheeiiit boy you got a case o' da pink i!' but then man i cam closer man and it was all like 'ShEIT man you got da PINK i's!' fuk man it was all fukkd up man he just looked at me with his i's man an' i was all fuk."
Truly alarming reports are continuing to flow in by the handbag load. We will keep you informed as best we can. In the meanwhile it is up to you, the public, to keep your vigilanty eyes open and keep an open mind.
Stay alert. Stay safe.
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