Sunday, July 22, 2012
CHAPTER 0
BIG THINGS ON THE WAY.
END UP NOT HAPPENING?
STUFF OFF HOSER, I'LL DO IT WHEN I'M READY AND GOOD.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Story time!
Thlan focused on the worn leather of the shoe he was supposed to be working on. The contures and cracks were pleasing to his eyes, the light brown leather was worn; flexible and soft but still very durable. The scent of mud and worn leather drifted into his too sharp nose. He lived for this.
The job he was employed to do was easy enough, just a touch up. It shouldn't have cost Farmer Focial more than 12 coppers for Thlan to fix his hole.
Before leaving, Focial let slip the urgency and need for his one good pair of work boots to be fixed in a timely matter. Thlan, as he usually did, took that vital piece of information and used it as a lever to give an inflated price on the repair job, touting such shoe-jargon as "Corrupted Sole" and "new toungue job" Thlan was able to charge no less than 26 copper pieces and a piece of prime cheese. Usually Thlan was able to weasel more than what he got but Thlan had the feeling that this was all the poor farmer could afford so, in his kindness, he gave Focial a break.
Before he knew it the late afternoon and daylight would fad in an hour or two. Thlan wasn't due to quit, at least officially, until nightfall but he figured it was close enough. He stuffed the boots into his "to do pile" and watted over to the common room to see if he could he could get "lucky" and try to lampoon his ugly wife into a reasonably contented-to act of pleasure.
As usual his good for nothing snot-shit of a 9 year-old son was out of the house playing swords with those good-for-nothing payed-for-nothing city guards or, worse, wasting his time in the field of flowers he frequented.
The instant he entered the common room he knew something was wrong. He become much more anxious then usual and his lower lip, now without the thought of keeping it taunt, drooped a good half-inch towards the floor.
As he started to sweat profusely what was left of his conscious mind sluggishly tried to ascertain what was wrong.
As his eyes darted about as a mouse fully encompassed by the "flight" response he caught sight of what was left of his wife.
He was half a mile out of the city limits when his mind, finally, was in a sound enough state for him to be aware of the sounds of children screaming and fire burning.
His pants were soaked
The job he was employed to do was easy enough, just a touch up. It shouldn't have cost Farmer Focial more than 12 coppers for Thlan to fix his hole.
Before leaving, Focial let slip the urgency and need for his one good pair of work boots to be fixed in a timely matter. Thlan, as he usually did, took that vital piece of information and used it as a lever to give an inflated price on the repair job, touting such shoe-jargon as "Corrupted Sole" and "new toungue job" Thlan was able to charge no less than 26 copper pieces and a piece of prime cheese. Usually Thlan was able to weasel more than what he got but Thlan had the feeling that this was all the poor farmer could afford so, in his kindness, he gave Focial a break.
Before he knew it the late afternoon and daylight would fad in an hour or two. Thlan wasn't due to quit, at least officially, until nightfall but he figured it was close enough. He stuffed the boots into his "to do pile" and watted over to the common room to see if he could he could get "lucky" and try to lampoon his ugly wife into a reasonably contented-to act of pleasure.
As usual his good for nothing snot-shit of a 9 year-old son was out of the house playing swords with those good-for-nothing payed-for-nothing city guards or, worse, wasting his time in the field of flowers he frequented.
The instant he entered the common room he knew something was wrong. He become much more anxious then usual and his lower lip, now without the thought of keeping it taunt, drooped a good half-inch towards the floor.
As he started to sweat profusely what was left of his conscious mind sluggishly tried to ascertain what was wrong.
As his eyes darted about as a mouse fully encompassed by the "flight" response he caught sight of what was left of his wife.
He was half a mile out of the city limits when his mind, finally, was in a sound enough state for him to be aware of the sounds of children screaming and fire burning.
His pants were soaked
Monday, December 6, 2010
Movie review!
The Road.
Holy shoot.
This movie is like Fallout 3 x100.
Do NOT watch this movie if you want to be cheered up.
Post apocaliptia is NOT cool.
NOT COOL.
Holy shoot.
This movie is like Fallout 3 x100.
Do NOT watch this movie if you want to be cheered up.
Post apocaliptia is NOT cool.
NOT COOL.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Samsong
there was this one dude named samsong and he was rad strong. he didnt tell nobody but his secret was his really long hiar that he never cutt in his life.
so when the persians (fuck those guys were dicks) were fuckin up shit and dissin our lord jesus shirst and was fuckin up shit samsong was all 'stop it u fucks!' and he totally kicked thier ass and they went running.
the persians were sick of eing eat up by samsong so they got this BITCH to go all tom clancy and figure out wut made samsong so strong. her name was delilia because she was da fuckin lier.
so she used her tits and shit to make samsong fall in love and while he was splitting her cell with his dick was pillow talked his secret away. he said 'ur so good Delilia and i love you so much and shit and she said i lov you to but whats ur secret to being so strong? and he said it's because i never cut my hair! and then persiens fucing popped out of the curtains and shit with their some dick boners because they were listenin and watching and they CUT HIS HAIR!
to put the cherry dick on top of the fucked cake they cut his hair out and CUT HIS EYES OUT TOO!
so samsong had to turn a wheel or something as punishment and the persiens sucked each outhers dicks and sexed delilia but deliliea really liked samsong it turns out and she felt sorry for him! and she deciced to help him with her plan.
the persiens were so dum they forgot to shave samsongs ballz though and he had some hair on them too (LOL) but hjis really hair grew bakc somme and he said 'god i no that my hair isn7't so long but I need the power to fuck up some shit' so Samsong PUSHED the pillars he was chained to and all the fucking persiens died by being crushed and delilia too.
the whol time though Samsongs power really came from loving god but he got vein and shit and forgot but he prayed and loved god at the end which really gave him his power back.
so when the persians (fuck those guys were dicks) were fuckin up shit and dissin our lord jesus shirst and was fuckin up shit samsong was all 'stop it u fucks!' and he totally kicked thier ass and they went running.
the persians were sick of eing eat up by samsong so they got this BITCH to go all tom clancy and figure out wut made samsong so strong. her name was delilia because she was da fuckin lier.
so she used her tits and shit to make samsong fall in love and while he was splitting her cell with his dick was pillow talked his secret away. he said 'ur so good Delilia and i love you so much and shit and she said i lov you to but whats ur secret to being so strong? and he said it's because i never cut my hair! and then persiens fucing popped out of the curtains and shit with their some dick boners because they were listenin and watching and they CUT HIS HAIR!
to put the cherry dick on top of the fucked cake they cut his hair out and CUT HIS EYES OUT TOO!
so samsong had to turn a wheel or something as punishment and the persiens sucked each outhers dicks and sexed delilia but deliliea really liked samsong it turns out and she felt sorry for him! and she deciced to help him with her plan.
the persiens were so dum they forgot to shave samsongs ballz though and he had some hair on them too (LOL) but hjis really hair grew bakc somme and he said 'god i no that my hair isn7't so long but I need the power to fuck up some shit' so Samsong PUSHED the pillars he was chained to and all the fucking persiens died by being crushed and delilia too.
the whol time though Samsongs power really came from loving god but he got vein and shit and forgot but he prayed and loved god at the end which really gave him his power back.
Interesting happenings mk.II
Hello chums and bums! I've finally gotten 'round to makin' another one o' dese things!
SO! All is going pretty well. Life in Japan is going by quickly now that I've gotten used to WAKING UP A 6 EV'VRY DAY. I also know now how to make Eggnog.
Now becuase I'm a fervent believer in homespun stories told by firelight 'round a bonny fire I'll keep all the JUICY stories to myself but I will say this...
Things are changing.
Now, it may be becuase I'm stuck, alone, in Tokyo Akihabara disctrict at 10pm but I'm feeling pretty Genki (editor's note, ''Genki'' means good/high energy).
I feel as if I should tell all you folks that yous shouldn't give life the compliment to take it seriously! Oh, an' you should read some Robert W. Service poems.
Isn't it wierd that when you're travelling and things are going REALLY good there's no one around to share it with?
SO! All is going pretty well. Life in Japan is going by quickly now that I've gotten used to WAKING UP A 6 EV'VRY DAY. I also know now how to make Eggnog.
Now becuase I'm a fervent believer in homespun stories told by firelight 'round a bonny fire I'll keep all the JUICY stories to myself but I will say this...
Things are changing.
Now, it may be becuase I'm stuck, alone, in Tokyo Akihabara disctrict at 10pm but I'm feeling pretty Genki (editor's note, ''Genki'' means good/high energy).
I feel as if I should tell all you folks that yous shouldn't give life the compliment to take it seriously! Oh, an' you should read some Robert W. Service poems.
Isn't it wierd that when you're travelling and things are going REALLY good there's no one around to share it with?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
dave and golieth
David and Golieth
Once upon a time there was this big dude named golieth. Golieth was so fucking big that if a bitch were to suck his fat cock she had to stand up while he fucking crouched.
Becuase Golieth was suck an asshole and a fucker he diecied that god fucking sucked and taht he was better. so he joined the persiean army or some shit that which hated god and jesus.
One day Golieth and the persian army was decided to fuck up Beblanand to fight the guys there.
Golieth thought he was touch shit so he said "I will fuck up all you asshoels but because I'm so fucking cool I'll fight one on one wit ur best."
Everythone in Bethlan was fuckkin pissed scared and they said "that Golieth is a fucker" but they were scared and they didn't have faith in god 'cuase they were pussys and they forgot god had their backs if they weren't.
One dude call david was like "fuck that noise, god is my homey 'an he wont let this fucker fuck me if I believe in Jesus."
Eveyone who was a pussy though said "dave what the fuck your like ten! and your a fucking small dude. You're going to fucking get fucked!"
David didn't listen though because he had god on his hart.
He whent to Golith and said "hey ass! I'm david and i'm going to beat you becuase you don't believe in God." but Golieth "HAR HAR HAr! your the best this puny city has! you're ten and an fucker! dere's no WAY you can beat ME!"
but daivid new that god was on his side and he knew that he could do it because the great god who created everything can't do something!?? He can do ANYTHIN!G!
So david spun his sling which was like a slingshot or some shit and fucked a rock right into daivd's HEAD!
Everyone was amazed because David took down Golieth without a sord or a gun or any man weapon he only used a kid's sling! They finally wren't pussies anymore and the army DESTROYED the persians and David was a hero.
THE END.
Once upon a time there was this big dude named golieth. Golieth was so fucking big that if a bitch were to suck his fat cock she had to stand up while he fucking crouched.
Becuase Golieth was suck an asshole and a fucker he diecied that god fucking sucked and taht he was better. so he joined the persiean army or some shit that which hated god and jesus.
One day Golieth and the persian army was decided to fuck up Beblanand to fight the guys there.
Golieth thought he was touch shit so he said "I will fuck up all you asshoels but because I'm so fucking cool I'll fight one on one wit ur best."
Everythone in Bethlan was fuckkin pissed scared and they said "that Golieth is a fucker" but they were scared and they didn't have faith in god 'cuase they were pussys and they forgot god had their backs if they weren't.
One dude call david was like "fuck that noise, god is my homey 'an he wont let this fucker fuck me if I believe in Jesus."
Eveyone who was a pussy though said "dave what the fuck your like ten! and your a fucking small dude. You're going to fucking get fucked!"
David didn't listen though because he had god on his hart.
He whent to Golith and said "hey ass! I'm david and i'm going to beat you becuase you don't believe in God." but Golieth "HAR HAR HAr! your the best this puny city has! you're ten and an fucker! dere's no WAY you can beat ME!"
but daivid new that god was on his side and he knew that he could do it because the great god who created everything can't do something!?? He can do ANYTHIN!G!
So david spun his sling which was like a slingshot or some shit and fucked a rock right into daivd's HEAD!
Everyone was amazed because David took down Golieth without a sord or a gun or any man weapon he only used a kid's sling! They finally wren't pussies anymore and the army DESTROYED the persians and David was a hero.
THE END.
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